Just a glimpse – Marriage of the Lamb

This is the first of several posts I will be posting today for my bride of 30 years.

LynnChuck&Dot

Fortunately, God likes those odds.  We had recently become Christians although we really did not know what that meant.  At times, we would actually do everything we could to shipwreck our faith and our marriage, but God had other plans for us. Over the past 30 years we have not always been faithful stewards of the gift that we were given as a couple, but there was One that has always been faithful and strengthened us when we were week, healed us when we were hurt, brought us home when we were lost, and brought knit our hearts together with His love.

LynnChuckGlassMany, many times through the years, God has quickened this song in my heart that was song at our wedding and it has encouraged me and strengthened me though the years.  It has never been recorded except for on a little cassette tape that is barely audible.  I contacted the writer and he graciously sent me the lyrics and music.  I hope to have someone someday record it.

I will share the lyrics here with you in honor of the One that is always faithful.

Marriage of the Lamb-page-0

My Eyes are Dry

The Holy Spirit empowers us to be effective witnesses. A witness is one who not only tells the truth, but also lives the truth. (Acts 1:8)

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” (Act 1:8)

This is where the rubber meets the road. It is great that I repent and my conscience is clean and “my eternity becomes sure”, but that is just the beginning. We are vessels that were created to serve. We do not wash dishes to put on the shelf to gather dust. We wash dishes to serve food.

How worthless I am if I get up and spend time in the morning developing a relationship with God and then head off for my day and never interact with a world that needs Him? Yes, serving may sometimes get us dirty from time to time, but that is what we created to do. Father, may I get off the shelf today so you can pile a heaping portion of You on me for a starving world that desperately needs You.

Cry out to God?

I want to cry out, but some how my emotions become constipated. Life or circumstances harden my heart.

So I offer my dry, tear-less eyes to a Father full of compassion.

“My eyes are dry
My faith is old
My heart is hard
My prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to you and dead to me

But what can be done
For an old heart like mine
Soften it up
With oil and wine
The oil is you, your spirit of love
Please wash me anew
With the wine of your blood”

“My Eyes are Fry” Keith Green

Eyes

Three Decades with God’s Gift

Dorothy Mommy & Daddy

Kneeling on the floor or labor room bathroom, I cried out to God.

Having never experienced the “Joy of Childbirth” as our birthing classes were called, I was terrified.  Lynn’s water had broken about 19 hours ago, Pitocin had been administered shortly after to “help” things along so we had been in hard labor for a long time, but things were not progressing.  The fetal monitors were beginning to indicate some distress.  Doctors having whispered discussions just out of earshot cannot be a good thing.

So on the floor I went, pleading that God would intervene and bring Lynn and our new baby through this safely.

The doctors came in to let us know that they were preparing for a C-section.  Lynn was not really paying attention because she suddenly entered into a stage of labor that I would become quite familiar with over the next 13 years … they label it simply, transition.  A quick check and then off to the delivery room.  20 minutes and 2 pushes later, I was holding my baby girl,  Dorothy – Gift of God.

“He called a little child and had him stand among them.  And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”  (Matthew 18:2)

 

Through this little girl, I would learn about God’s heart.  Yes, there is the discovery of the tremendous amount of love that we as parents feel for our children and yes, I never knew that I could love like that.  We have all heard all of that before and I am not in anyway unique in that experience.  The lessons in love that I am talking about were and are poured out from God through this little girl.

From the beginning, she was sensitive to the feeling of others. Gifted to feel the pain and hurts of others, she strove to bring joy to others.  Always eager to please, she reached out to everyone often making friends quickly.  Unfortunately, sensitivity and an over-developed need to make others happy often makes people uncomfortable.  So close relationship did not always come easily.  It took me many years of witnessing her struggles and tears  to understand that God was allowing me to see a glimpse of His love through my precious

little girl.  Even now, I am just learning about how many times I have rejected His love just like so many turn us away when we reach out to them.

Dorothy & Daddy

What an honor it has been to watch that little girl grow into the beautiful, intelligent, witty (all be it nerdy), and sensitive young woman of God that she has become.  You were the perfect gift delivered at just the right time to a young Mom & Dad that needed to learn how to love.  Now that you are “coming of age” I look forward to watching you share this gift with a world that so needs to know that love.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl,

Daddy

DQPO

“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”


Excerpt From: A. W. Tozer. “The Pursuit of God With Devotional Guide.”

DumbQuestions Training was a big part of my time in the Navy. We always had “that guy” in class deemed the DQPO (Dumb Question Petty Officer). Many of his questions seemed to cover information that everyone should have known or that displayed his complete lack of understanding of clearly stated information. Class and instructor alike groaned when his hand went up, yet he was undaunted and continued his quest for knowledge.

Despite the groans, we all knew that he was a vital part of training and many secretly envied his tenacity, boldness, and thick skin. Our thirst for knowledge was not great enough to overcome our pride and fear.

Image from: http://www.markandlauraward.com
Image from: http://www.markandlauraward.com

So what about those people that seem to be at the altar every week agonizing over the most simple life issues? They cryat the drop of a hat and rejoice about simple everyday victories (over and over again). We groan when they offer to pray, knowing that we will undoubtedly have to endure run-on and redundant prayers that are often offered in broken King James English or a completely disregards the English language. Of course … we all know that they are a vital part of the body of Christ and secretly wish that we too had that kind of persistence, courage, and desire.


And yet …there I sit.
Struggling with depression, buried in financial woes of my own making, hating my job, physically in pain, worried about the direction of my children, wondering what could revitalize my marriage … and ignoring the obvious call from the only One who can set me free. Pride and fear has overcome my thirst for The Savior and has planted my butt firmly in my seat avoiding that altar at all costs.

” I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. “

DQPO

“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, “Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.” Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”


Excerpt From: A. W. Tozer. “The Pursuit of God With Devotional Guide.”

DumbQuestions Training was a big part of my time in the Navy. We always had “that guy” in class deemed the DQPO (Dumb Question Petty Officer). Many of his questions seemed to cover information that everyone should have known or that displayed his complete lack of understanding of clearly stated information. Class and instructor alike groaned when his hand went up, yet he was undaunted and continued his quest for knowledge.

Despite the groans, we all knew that he was a vital part of training and many secretly envied his tenacity, boldness, and thick skin. Our thirst for knowledge was not great enough to overcome our pride and fear.

Image from: http://www.markandlauraward.com
Image from: http://www.markandlauraward.com

So what about those people that seem to be at the altar every week agonizing over the most simple life issues? They cryat the drop of a hat and rejoice about simple everyday victories (over and over again). We groan when they offer to pray, knowing that we will undoubtedly have to endure run-on and redundant prayers that are often offered in broken King James English or a completely disregards the English language. Of course … we all know that they are a vital part of the body of Christ and secretly wish that we too had that kind of persistence, courage, and desire.


And yet …there I sit.
Struggling with depression, buried in financial woes of my own making, hating my job, physically in pain, worried about the direction of my children, wondering what could revitalize my marriage … and ignoring the obvious call from the only One who can set me free. Pride and fear has overcome my thirst for The Savior and has planted my butt firmly in my seat avoiding that altar at all costs.

” I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. “

Selfish and Annoying

A couple of years ago I developed a mantra for my U14 boys soccer team that might be disturbing to many, but I believe that it resulted in two league championships.  Yes, I encouraged my normally courteous and respectful young men to be selfish and annoying.

Before you judge my rebellion against basic Christian morals and societal norms, let me explain.  First, you must take the time to understand the middle school boy. Through God’s plan and a healthy dose of HGH, boys naturally begin to claim their heritage as men.  They are no longer content with the nest.  Not confident enough to make the jump on their own, they find ways, through word and action, to make us want to push them out.  If we understand this, we can use this to help them make that journey.  If I can disguise  character building as adolescent rebellion, I can help them to take those steps toward manhood.

children_sharing_toySelfish –  The team was rapidly developing skill during training sessions.  Although I could see it, they could not.  During games, it was apparent that they had little confidence in their own ability and they deferred to other players and even the other team at times causing us to take few shots and loose most of the 50-50 balls. So I told them to be selfish… “really coach?” Yep … I want you to believe that the ball is yours and the only place that it should be is on your foot, your team mates foot, or in the back of the other team’s net.  I want you to be like a preschooler in the nursery who gets mad when another kid takes their toy.  They loved this! It sounds crazy, but we began fighting for every 50-50 ball and driving the ball into the back of the net.

Do I allow the enemy to take away the ball that God purchased for me on Calvary?  Do I lack the confidence to wrestle with the enemy in prayer?  Do I understand that God has placed me here for a purpose and that I cannot always defer to someone else to accomplish that task? Am I selfish for my God?

polar1Annoying –  Every team I have ever coached has that one kid.  You and everyone  else knows who it is on the first day of practice. “Coach, what are we going to do next?” , “Coach, can I play goalie?” , “Coach, are we going play around the world today?” “Coach …Coach…Coach?” AAAAHHHHHHH! Yes he is annoying, but you always know where he is, what he wants, and you know his voice (even in your sleep).  On the field, every other player know his voice as well and they always know where he is.  This is not a bad thing.  When you are trying to develop communication on your team and their lack of confidence keeps them from talking what better example than “that guy”. Can you be louder than “that guy”?  Can you be more annoying than “that guy”?  If we can be loud and annoying, we will all know each other’s voices and we can effectively work together.  Suddenly, I have a team of guys that communicate, know where their teammates are, and can effectively share the ball and play team defense.  Annoying is better than silence when you need to communicate.

Have I made sure that God knows my voice?  Does He know how much I want to be a part of the game? Do others know that I am open and available for ministry?   Do I know that good would rather here my annoying voice than anything else in the world. Am I annoying for God?

And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, “Friend, lend me three loaves, for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him”;and he will answer from within, “Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything”? I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs. And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Like 11:5-13 ESV)